You know that moment when you can’t decide between two things and your brain says just get both?

My brain picked option three.

Five minutes from closing time in my favourite stationery shop in Toulouse, holding two notebooks, feeling the very French version of being politely swept out the door — and I nearly did it. Nearly got both.

Until I heard my own voice saying ‘simplify is the default’ - one or none Emma.

So I left them, and when I woke up I knew exactly which one I wanted.

AND

Absolute certainty. Spaciousness. And the pleasure of knowing exactly what I was going to do, with the additional joy of the unexpected when the stationary shop I ended up in took the time to emboss my notebook with ‘My Life Atelier’ and I got to share what I do as well as practise my french. From contraction to expansion, like remembering to unclench your jaw and roll your shoulders.

That’s what this episode is really about.

We talk a about decision-making, about clarity, about knowing what you want — but underneath all of it is: your energy.

And I wanted to know exactly what that means. Science level please.

Not in the vague money is energy (it’s actually a technology which is fun, I really enjoyed this book The History of Money: A Story of Humanity to connect with what money IS).

No in the actual, biological, what I now know is ATP-level way.

Because this morning I woke up to birdsong, without an alarm, and the first thought I had was: it all starts with energy.

And then my next thought? Yeah but wtf actually IS energy, how do I teach this to my clients and community?

I looked it up.

Then recorded this voice note as my last share with you here on Joy Ambition!

Voila.

In this episode I share:

• The notebook story — and the surprisingly useful decision-making tool hiding inside it

• Why simplification as a default is the actual path to your goals (and why your version of “hard” might be the opposite of mine)

• What energy actually is at a physics and biology level — and why a difficult conversation can leave you exhausted the next day

• ATP, your nervous system, and the six-times-per-second safety check running in the background of everything you do

• Why your energy is rare and precious — and why that has nothing to do with being special

• Co-regulation: Rita on the sofa, birdsong through the window, and what that tells us about how we’re all designed to work

• The difference between energy being suppressed and energy flowing freely — and how that changes every decision you make

And at the end, an invitation. The Life Atelier opens properly on Monday. If you’ve been thinking about it — this is the last weekend at current pricing. Email me at hello@emmalavelle.co before June 1st (my birthday, so you have until midnight to message me saying ‘I'm in’ and also secure your spot).

I’ll be doing this work right alongside you, my job is to get you to your chosen summit and back again, so you can share the experience and have enjoyed it so much you’re ready to lead you own expedition!

Emma ✨

Think of it as the secret knock to the private time expansion members club.

The private club where the door opens and the noise from outside just falls away.

Where time passes with the carefree ease of a mid August day when you’re nine and have sweets in your pocket.

The lazy generous luxury of time wealth.

The cheerful easy shrug of ‘both, either’ reply to life choices

Because urgency?

Got checked in at the door with your phone and coat by the time butler.

And instead you get to try on the tailored just to you jacket that is the deep self-trust of knowing you can slip into spaciousness with your next breath.

Here AND back out in the real world.

I’m sharing the secret knock because I would have happily done something quite unethical on the eve of my 35th birthday five years ago when life and time felt like a relentless dark tidal wave coming towards me.

And now? I have to dig really deep to remember how it felt.

Once you learn the knock? You don’t go back.

So play, enjoy, explore, let me know what you discover!

Emma 🐆

🛠 Tools & exercises from this episode

1. The body check-in Twice a day — or whenever you remember — just pause and ask: what do I feel? Then more space: what do I hear? You don’t need to fix or interpret what comes up. Just create the connection. Start small. Start now. I was so disconnected from my body in my 20s that I was blacking out from exhaustion and thought I had a brain tumour. The optician told me my eyes were simply exhausted. That’s how far the disconnection can go — and how completely it can be reversed.

2. Seek the boredom The connection points happen at the edge of boredom. Not in the middle of a podcast, not while scrolling. In the walk home from the supermarket. While you clean your teeth. In the car. Look for the boredom — that’s the edge where something else becomes available. I think of it as Peter Pan just on the horizon, just where the sunrise meets the water.

3. Name your energy In stillness and space, something unique about you starts to become audible. One of my clients discovered Miami Energy — the freedom and peace and power she feels at the beach, wearing clothes with the breeze moving through her, not wanting to be anywhere else. Another has Ocean Energy — diving in the evening, doing exactly what she wants, not caring who sees. Mine is sensual alegría — stillness in movement, sheer unselfconscious joy. What’s yours? You don’t have to know yet. Create the space and let it come.

4. The time expansion breath Time is perception. Five minutes when you’re bored can feel like nothing. Five minutes when you’re scared can feel like decades. Just breathe. Feel the exhale. You have time. You have all the time in the world to do what matters to you — whether you’re 18 or 99.

You can find ✨ The Life Atelier, my 1:1 coaching programme, here [URL]. You can find me on Instagram here [URL]. You can find Joy Studio, my community for women in business, here [URL].

In this episode we talk about:

00:00 — welcome back, and the smashed glass that woke Rita up

00:30 — recording just before my birthday and why May always feels magical

01:00 — five years ago at 34: being followed around by a sand timer

02:00 — what that relationship with time actually felt like — the Hawaii analogy

03:30 — the dry side of the island: heat, oppression, and no release from the storm

05:00 — time expansion: what it means and what it makes possible

05:30 — feeling like it was already too late at 18 (grade seven piano, anyone?)

06:30 — David Attenborough turned 100 yesterday — it is not too late

07:00 — time is perception: breathe with me for a moment

08:00 — the birthday gift: experimenting with silence, space, and boredom

09:00 — the parts of you that have been pushed down and don’t feel safe to be heard

10:00 — creating space to hear what’s astonishing in you

10:30 — Miami Energy, Ocean Energy, and sensual alegría

12:00 — Rosie, the first dog, and que alegría in the dog park in Spain

13:30 — being so disconnected from my body I thought I had a brain tumour

14:30 — the body check-in practice and what started to become audible

15:30 — the boredom edge: Peter Pan on the horizon where the sunrise meets the water

16:30 — tying it all together: fall to fly, feel the pain to access the joy, seek the silence

17:30 — what is your energy? what’s there for you in that space?

18:00 — happy birthday to me — and the May offer, the life design session, and what happens either way

Resources

✦ Book a complimentary Life Design Session → emmalavelle.co

✦ The Life Atelier — 3, 5 & 10 month containers, prices increase in June

✦ Start later in the year and still keep current pricing — just message me

Reflection prompts from this episode

Where in your life does time feel like something you’re running out of rather than something you’re living inside — and what is that costing you?

When did you last seek the boredom? What happened in that space when you let it be there?

And what is your energy — the thing that is uniquely, specifically, unmistakably you? What name would you give it?

Joy Ambition is your weekly voice note with me, Emma Lavelle — life design and time expansion coach, and founder of The Life Atelier. New episodes every Friday.

This week I’ve seen my clients horse riding on their lunch break, cheerfully swinging from a hoop attached to the ceiling in .. I don’t know what but it’s where I did an aerial silk class so somewhere between circus and yoga 😆, another had their second week of getting breakfast in their favourite cafe before starting work and I can see they’re sleeping better from the glowy skin that has reappeared.

And I was thinking about how prioritising these activities that bring them joy came from little shifts, little self-trust deposits in their self-trust investment funds, the pause before automatically rushing, the ‘let me get back to you, I have a 36 hour breathing space before deciding on new opportunities’ delivered first wobbily and then confidently with practise.

These shifts are the muscle that mean these women are already on the path to the goals we’ve set together based on their authenticity, wants, and an honest evaluation of what they’re capable and where they are.

There will be others who think the goals are too ambitious, and others who think they are too timid, they should skip the horseriding and yoga sessions, ‘knuckle down’ suffer until the result.

Noise.

Distraction.

Complication.

Simplicity is beauty and simplicity plus self-trust applied to your goals? A joyful, liberating, powerful discipline.

I mention Kilian Jornet in this episode because he is my favourite expression of that right now, endurance fuelled by play and desire for happiness.

He says again and again that it’s what you do each day that adds up.

And the version of you who made space to have a nourishing breakfast in the sunshine before picking up your phone, who chose to go to a horseriding class at lunchtime or hike in nature at the weekend instead of ‘pushing through’ week after week?

They are the version of you who also leans into the fear, who picks courage again and again, they are the ones that make it to the end with a smile on their face, already planning the next peak with delicious tired energy in the car on the drive home instead of grimly punishing themselves for not doing it fast enough and comparing their performance to others on different paths.

I’ve shared the questions I’m sending my clients this week who are starting their Life Atelier practise this June, and I would love for you to give yourself the gift of pausing to answer them yourself.

And if you want to be one of the group I’m leading through The Life Atelier this year, to share your stories and what you create in 3, 5, or 10 months? You can save your spot at the current prices before the 1st June increase, by replying to this email and letting me know you’re in or we can schedule a conversation to talk about if this is the right fit for you and where you are 💛

Click here to learn about Your Life Atelier: The Practice

Before We Begin: Terrain Check-in & Prehab

Your Life Atelier: The Practice

Before we run, we read the terrain. Before we climb, we check the conditions. Before the work begins, we get honest about where we are.

This is not an assessment. You are not being evaluated. You are simply mapping the ground you are standing on — so that everything that follows can be built on something real.

What this is

The terrain check-in is the first thing you bring to your opening session. We use it together to understand where you are right now — your sleep, your body, your current pressures, how your brain and nervous system work — so we can build your practice around the actual you, not an imagined version.

There are no right answers. There is no baseline to meet. The more honest you are, the more useful this becomes.

Take your time. Come back to questions that do not land immediately. Write in whatever way feels natural — short answers, long answers, fragments, feelings. All of it is useful.

Decisions about what to do with what you find here happen in your first session, together. Right now, just explore.

Part 1 — The terrain

Sleep

What is your relationship with sleep right now?

How do you feel when you wake up?

What is most disrupting your sleep at the moment — if anything?

Nourishment

What is your relationship with food right now?

How does eating feel — is it something you enjoy, something you manage, something you forget?

What does your body feel like it needs that it is not currently getting?

Movement and body

How are you moving your body at the moment?

How does that feel — energising, dutiful, absent, joyful?

What is your relationship with your body like right now — honest version?

Nature

How much time are you spending in nature?

What is your version of nature — what is accessible to you right now?

What does being in nature give you when you do find your way there?

Social media and digital noise

What is your relationship with your phone and social media right now?

How do you feel after you have been scrolling?

What would you like that relationship to look like?

Support

Who do you have around you who genuinely supports you — not just practically, but in the deeper sense?

Who in your life might find it difficult — consciously or unconsciously — when you start to change?

What kind of support do you most need right now that you are not currently getting?

Current pressures

What is costing you the most energy right now?

What are you carrying that you have not yet named out loud?

What would it feel like to put some of that down — even temporarily — for the duration of a session?

Part 2 — How your brain and nervous system work

This is not a personality test. It is a practical map of how you are wired — so the tools can be calibrated to you rather than applied generically.

Motivation

What does it feel like when you are genuinely motivated — in your body, in your energy, in how you move through a day?

What has historically helped you follow through on things that matter to you?

What has historically got in the way?

Focus

How do you work best — what conditions, what time of day, what environment?

When do you feel most scattered or unfocused — what tends to be happening?

Your nervous system — stress responses

When we are under pressure, our nervous system moves into one of four responses. Most of us have a dominant one — though all four can show up depending on the situation.

Fight — pushing through, arguing, fixing, taking control Flight — leaving, getting busy, moving on, escaping the feeling Freeze — going quiet, going through the motions, shutting down Fawn — appeasing, over-giving, making it okay for everyone else first

Which of these do you recognise most in yourself?

What does it look like specifically for you — what do you say, what do you do, what do you stop doing?

What are your personal dashboard lights — the specific words, thoughts, or behaviours that tell you your nervous system has been activated before you consciously realise it?

(These are the early signals — the ones that, when you learn to spot them, change everything)

What helps you return to yourself when you have been activated?

Part 3 — Your starting point

In one paragraph — where are you right now?

Not where you want to be. Not where you think you should be. Where you actually are. The version you might not have said out loud yet.

What do you most want to feel differently about?

What would have to be true for you to feel that this work was worth it?

What are you most afraid of — about doing this, or about what it might change?

What are you most excited about?

Part 4 — Prehab

Prehab is what you do before the work begins so the work can actually land.

You do not need to have everything in place before your first session. But reading through what follows — and noticing where there is friction — is useful preparation.

Create some silence

The most transformative practice in this programme is also the one most people resist: creating space to hear themselves.

Before your first session, experiment with one of these — just once:

• Walk without headphones or music

• Sit with your coffee or tea without your phone

• Drive without the radio

• Do something with your hands with no audio in the background

Notice what comes up in the silence. You do not need to do anything with it. Just notice.

Reduce the noise — temporarily

Creativity needs space. When there is constant input — podcasts, news, social media, other people’s opinions — you cannot hear your own.

Consider, just for the first two weeks of the programme:

• Turning off notifications for at least part of the day

• Removing one source of background noise that is not serving you

• Protecting one morning or evening a week that belongs only to you

This is not permanent. It is deliberate clearing — so that into the quiet, you can start to hear what is actually there.

Lower the bar for the beginning

Your brain is designed to protect you from the unfamiliar. Even something deeply wanted will trigger some resistance. That is not a signal to stop. It is a signal that something real is beginning.

The antidote is not to push harder. It is to lower the bar for the first weeks. Show up in small ways. Build the muscle before you add the weight. The practice will deepen naturally — you do not need to force it.

Start the body check-in

Before your first session, try this once a day for three days:

Pause. Put your hand on your heart if that feels right. Notice your shoulders — what are they doing? Your jaw. Your belly. Your breath.

Do not fix anything. Do not interpret anything. Just notice.

This thirty-second practice is the foundation of everything. The earlier you build it, the more it will give you.

A note on the acclimatisation

You may not feel different after session one. You may not feel different after session three. And then something will shift — usually quietly, usually when you are doing something ordinary — and you will realise you are already different.

That is the acclimatisation. The external catching up with what has changed underneath.

Trust the pace. The work is happening even when you cannot see it.

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One of my great pleasures right now is taking the AI written intro’s to these voice notes - (I use Claude to pull timestamps from podcasts because it feels helpful) - and cheerfully saying NOPE.

Highlighting the copy.

Deleting it.

Then writing in my own grammatically distressing but gloriously human voice to you.

Like a kid presenting their great artwork, drawn in Chanel red lipstick on your white wall - VOILA!

Here I am, here you are, this is me communicating how much I love you right now and want to share my new experience, my way. ☺️💄🎨

So, the episode and surgically extracted by Claude tools are below, and I hope you will listen to it today, it’s about a life lived from you and that being not just enough, but the goal.

It’s also my first public share that it turns out I am someone who responds to resting her sprained ankle by using the time to organise her body of work into the first draft of a book.

And still can feel at 5pm like the day was a boring waste 😆 - but only for a few minutes, then I reminded myself what I’d done.

That the rested ankle today means that birthday peak just got a lot more likely again, AND that I get to now invite my coaching clients to be part of the book.

I want to share your stories. The process. From never having run in your life to preparing to climb the Matterhorn 12 months later, from feeling like it’s too late to change to writing your own book proposal this time next year, from a life where the idea of breakfast outside in the sunshine feels as laughably impossible as climbing Everest, turns into your daily ritual that everything else flows from.

You know my story.

And I want the people who pick up my book in the future to know yours, because being part of the beginning and seeing the messy middle before the still messy but magical next conclusion?

That’s what gives them the hope to take the first step that changes everything.

What do you think?

Do you want to be part of Your Life Atelier: The Practise?

My clients — those already with me and those starting in June — will be my team. Three months, five months, or ten. On 1st June, my birthday, I share the full toolkit and map. Then our adventure begins. ✨

If you’d like to talk about which option is best for you?

Reply to this email with YES or you can schedule a conversation here, prices go up on 1st June so we have a whole week to explore if this is for you, have a beautiful Sunday,

Emma ✨🌿

🛠 Tools & ideas from this episode

1. The Life Atelier: The Practice — what it actually is Not a course to add to the pile. Not another framework to implement. A workspace for your life — six modules, two seasons, one practice that builds into the architecture of how you actually live. Starting with your Signature Essence and ending with BE — the integration that most programmes skip entirely.

2. The two seasons — which one are you in? Focus season: one peak, one filter question, radical simplicity. Everything measured against: will this take me there — yes or no? Flow season: mind, body, project — 21-day cycles, Monday intention, Friday reflection. Building the longer-term muscles so that when Focus season comes, you are ready. One question to sit with: which season does your body recognise right now?

3. The acclimatisation practice Kilian Jornet at Everest base camp — bored in a tent, mountains to climb, asking: can I acclimatise faster so I can maximise my time having fun? You can apply this to anything you have always wanted but do not yet feel safe having. Start smaller than the dream. Get used to it in your body. Sit on the bench next to the park with your coffee before you have the garden. The external will catch up with what changes underneath.

4. Before learning that you weren’t enough The invitation in this episode — and in the whole programme — is to remember the version of you that existed before the stickers, the ticks, the boxes, the exams. Before you learned to modify. That version is still there. They were always there. They are incredible. This work is the practice of actually living like it.

5. Unconditional dog-levels of love (Rita dropped her ball at the exact right moment for this one.) Every being arrives with something cool, amazing, and beautiful just waiting to be expressed. The socialisation covered it. The conditioning taught you it was not safe. The practice is uncovering it — not performing it, not faking it till you make it, but genuinely falling over and saying: oh, interesting, so that’s what happens when I do that.

In this episode we talk about:

00:00 — a spontaneous voice note, Rita’s big sigh, and why I recorded this now

00:30 — the last week of current prices and why spaces are limited

01:00 — before all of the stuff: before you learned you weren’t enough

01:45 — before you learned to get a sticker or a tick to be loved

02:15 — the you who you are is there right now — they were always there

02:45 — Jane Goodall’s favourite animal and unconditional dog-levels of love for yourself

03:30 — Rita drops her ball at exactly the right moment

04:00 — what genuinely believing you are amazing actually looks like (hint: it is falling over and getting curious)

04:45 — Rita: a month of being bitterly thin, the daily practice of trust, and the tipping point

05:30 — a sprained ankle, staying still, and wanting to see the sunrise on a mountain for my birthday

06:15 — what I did with the stillness: the first draft of The Life Atelier book and the journal

06:45 — the thing I most want you to know: your story will be in the book

07:30 — what a Life Atelier practice actually is: a workspace for your life

08:15 — what it feels like to have lost your centre of gravity — and what finding it again looks like

09:00 — the six threads woven through every module: Signature Essence, nature, stillness, play, sensual alegría, BE

09:30 — my Signature Essence: Wild, Sanctuary, Impact, Intimacy — and what each one actually means

11:30 — Kilian Jornet, intimacy, and why I cannot do superficial

12:00 — nature as regulation, rhythm, and the check-in that is always available

12:30 — stillness: the thing I resisted most my whole life, and why it is everything

13:15 — play as the thing that unfreezes us and helps us find what is authentic

13:45 — sensual alegría: a cat stretching in the sun — I’m here, I’m in my body, this is pleasure

14:30 — BE: acclimatising to your new level before the next peak

15:30 — Kilian climbing Everest twice and asking: can I acclimatise faster so I can have more fun?

16:00 — sitting on a bench next to a park with your coffee, getting used to having a garden

16:45 — the two seasons: Focus (race season, one peak, one filter) and Flow (training season, 21-day cycles)

18:00 — how the skills you build in one area flood into every other area of your life

19:00 — the overview: Safety, Wanting, Focus, Motivation, Creation, Decisions, BE

20:00 — the invitation: be one of the small group I take through this on 1st June

20:30 — their stories will be in the book — that is the magic of saying yes this week

Resources

✦ Book a complimentary Life Design Session → emmalavelle.co

✦ The Life Atelier — 3, 5 & 10 month containers, prices increase 1st June

✦ Lock in current pricing now and start any time before September 2026

Reflection prompts from this episode

Which season are you in right now — Focus or Flow? And is the way you are living actually matching that?

What did you love doing before you learned to perform doing it?

If your story were going to be in a book — what would you want it to say?

Joy Ambition is your weekly voice note with me, Emma Lavelle — life design and time expansion coach, and founder of The Life Atelier. New episodes every Friday.

Thanks for reading Joy Ambition! This post is public so feel free to share it.

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today’s voice note is an invitation to notice where you’re sitting uncomfortably in the shade instead of feeling the sunshine on your face and stretching because someone else put the perfectly moveable chair inside a chalk circle and wrote ‘Do not move.’

My loves, you can move.

You can pick that chair up if you do indeed want a chair and put it wherever you want.

Might the bristling British gentleman with the chalk be upset? Sure.

But is that worth sitting in the shade?

I think not.

In fact, seeing you enjoy the sunshine over here might be exactly what he needs to investigate life outside the lines too!

Enjoy, let me know what metric you decide to play with

Emma ✨🐆

🛠 Tools & exercises from this episode

1. The SovReina Compass check-in Four sliders to navigate back to yourself. Notice where you are on each one:

• Are the decisions you’re taking expansive or contractive?

• Is your focus creating the future or recreating the past?

• Are the words you’re using opening up possibility or shutting down options?

• Is your validation coming from inside or outside?

No fixing required — just notice. That’s the compass doing its job.

2. Set your own metric What is the internal measure you actually care about? Mine is: am I enjoying this? Not performing enjoyment — genuinely in it. Name yours. Write it down. Then use it.

3. Run two experiments this month Pick one thing that piques your curiosity and just do it — message, sign up, say yes, before the thought passes. Then pick one thing you’d normally dismiss as not for you — and try it anyway. Both experiments give you data. Both bring you closer to your own metrics.

4. Small injuries, small data — big injuries, big data When you ignore your internal signals and follow someone else’s protocol, you push past the small signs until they become big ones. The small injuries — the moments of friction, the things that feel slightly off — are data. Meet them with curiosity before they become the kind of data that lands you in a collapsing cottage in Normandy with no money and a dog, starting completely over. (Which, for the record, turned out to be the most transformative experience of my life. But still.)

You can find ✨ The Life Atelier, my 1:1 coaching programme, here (20% off in May). You can find me on Instagram here. You can find Joy Studio, my community for women in business, here.

In this episode we talk about:

00:00 — this week’s tool: creating your own metrics

00:30 — the SovReina Compass and its four sliders

01:30 — flow state: what it actually is and when you’ve already felt it

02:30 — the light on the wooden floor and why anchors matter

03:00 — painting the fence in Normandy and losing track of time

04:00 — setting up Claude as a French tutor (eco-entrepreneurship, wild swimming, mountains)

05:30 — the moment I cracked the past tense and why grammar bores me to tears

06:00 — am I enjoying this? — why that’s a serious metric

07:00 — the Welsh lake, the sauna, and the cold plunge I did at my own pace

09:00 — going in slowly, a bird of prey overhead, the parts of me under the water feeling warmer

10:30 — am I doing this for me? — the second metric

11:00 — joining Creative Mornings Running in Toulouse (I’m a runner now apparently)

12:30 — running in Australia with a fireman ex and the story I told about my weak ankles

14:00 — showing up to run club fully prepared to be purple and at the back

15:00 — running on tippy toes and being that annoying person chatting at the front

16:00 — “when are you joining a race?” — and why my answer was never

16:30 — a race is someone else’s metric — and why that matters

17:00 — Lina’s answer: internal validation, going slow, and injuries as data

18:00 — small signals ignored become big injuries — burnout, collapse, the corporate grind

19:00 — the cottage in Normandy at 34: big injury, big data, most transformative experience of my life

21:00 — 40 is coming and I have never felt more possibility, more strength, more alive

22:00 — the tool: two experiments to find your own metrics this month

23:00 — the life design session: what it is and why it’s worth doing either way

Resources

✦ Book a complimentary Life Design Session → emmalavelle.co

✦ The Life Atelier — 3, 5 & 10 month containers, prices increase in June

✦ Start later in the year and still keep current pricing — just message me

Reflection prompts from this episode

Where in your life are you currently running someone else’s race — measuring yourself against a metric that was never yours to begin with?

What are the small signals — the little friction points, the things that feel slightly off — that you might be pushing past right now?

And if you were to set just one internal metric for this month, something that’s truly yours: what would it be?

Joy Ambition is your weekly voice note with me, Emma Lavelle — life design and time expansion coach, and founder of The Life Atelier. New episodes every Friday.

this might be one of those voice notes where you don’t love me immediately, but you sit with it and a few days later you reach out and say, ok, yes, I get it. I’m in.

A little like the banana bread I was offered on Friday post run club that was either burnt tasting or deliciously caramel chewy.

It took a beat and an espresso to come down on the side of delicious caramel chewy.

But if anyone else said - eew. Burnt? Sure. I can see that too.

If you’re IN the 3 days I’m offering then yes, burnt is the dominant experience.

But if you’re on the other side and in the realisation of a lifetime of transformative love? Oh now we’re nodding at each other with our eyes lit up in surprise and the deep caramel chewy taste!

If you don’t like bananas.

Change the analogy. Don’t lose the lesson 💛

So, before you listen, ask yourself the following question:

The offer. 3 Days of Heartbreak For 18 Months of Transformative Love, Do you take it?

Then? Come back to me after the voice note.

Emma ✨

🛠 Tools & exercises from this episode

1. The lake exercise Picture your mind as a lake you’re crossing in a boat. In the shallows you can see the small uncomfortable thoughts — the gym membership guilt, the unmade call. Deeper, the water darkens: the relationship you’re unsure about, the job you might hate. Deeper still: the things you’ve never let yourself look at directly. Just noticing where you are on the lake is the first step. You don’t have to dive in. Just see what’s there.

2. The emotion-to-joy equation If you only ever allow yourself to feel sadness at a level 3, you’re only ever available for joy at a level 3. The cap is symmetrical. Ask yourself: what emotion am I most avoiding — and what level of joy am I accidentally capping along with it?

3. The tattoo / vaccination reframe Before you avoid an emotion, cost it out. A tattoo is 30-40 minutes of discomfort for something beautiful you carry forever. Heartbreak, when you actually go into it, can be a few days — for 18 months of being fully in love. The vaccination hurts for minutes; the anxiety of not having it lasts the whole trip. What is the actual cost of feeling the thing you’re avoiding?

4. The 30-second emotion practice Put the thought out of your head — because it’s the thought that drags the emotion out, not the emotion itself. Then just feel the sensation in your body. Where is it? What colour is it? Is it moving? Feel it fully, and feel it leave. A mentor told me emotions felt this way pass in 30 seconds. I’ve been testing it. It works.

5. The palate cleanser question When an emotion passes, ask: what am I being asked to create space for? This grief is asking me to create space for the love I want. This anger is asking me to create space for the change I want to see. The emotion isn’t the problem — it’s the signal.

You can find ✨ The Life Atelier, my 1:1 coaching programme, here (20% off in May). You can find me on Instagram here. You can find Joy Studio, my community for women in business, here.

In this episode we talk about:

00:00 — welcome back, and what this episode is the next level of

00:30 — what emotions actually are: sensations in the body as a response to thoughts in the mind

01:30 — 66,000 thoughts a day, most of them subconscious — and why that matters

02:00 — the hairs on the back of your neck: how your body knows before your brain does

03:00 — the little flickering thoughts running underneath (taxes, your mum, that friend)

04:00 — the lake: shallows, depths, and the things you’ve never looked at directly

06:00 — why we avoid emotions and why avoidance makes them louder

07:00 — the Enneagram and which emotion your type is most likely avoiding

08:00 — capping sadness caps joy: the symmetry of emotional capacity

09:00 — the tattoo and the vaccination: costing out what you’re actually afraid of

10:00 — all the vaccinations at once, and the 12-hour restaurant shift (yes, really)

11:00 — heartbreak: what it actually cost me versus what I got for it

12:30 — going all in on love because I knew I could care for myself through the grief

13:30 — “three days for 18 months” — the cost-benefit of feeling it fully

14:00 — learning to take a punch: why that advice never worked for me

15:00 — what a punch actually costs you (and what it teaches you for life)

16:00 — the up-level: a mentor told me emotions pass in 30 seconds

16:30 — it’s the thought that drags the emotion out, not the emotion itself

17:00 — the practice: feel it in your body, see it, feel it leave

17:30 — the palate cleanser question: what am I being asked to create space for?

18:00 — how I used the palate cleanser idea for the VAT increase (and made it fun)

19:00 — next week: creating your own metrics — and why “as long as it’s fun” is one of mine

Resources

✦ Book a complimentary Life Design Session → emmalavelle.co

✦ The Life Atelier — 3, 5 & 10 month containers, prices increase in June

✦ Start later in the year and still keep current pricing — just message me

Reflection prompts from this episode

What emotion are you most consistently avoiding — and what level of joy might you be capping along with it?

If you were to cost out the thing you’re dreading feeling — the grief, the anger, the sadness — what is it actually? Days? Hours? What’s on the other side of that cost?

And what might you be being asked to create space for?

Joy Ambition is your weekly voice note with me, Emma Lavelle — life design and time expansion coach, and founder of The Life Atelier. New episodes every Friday.

You’ll see what happens 💛

Enjoy the voice note, notes & tools below and let me know how you like the format!

Happy Saturday,

Emma ✨

Joy Ambition — Episode Notes

The more you’re willing to fall flat on your face, the less you do

🛠 Tools & exercises from this episode

1. The “what have I always done” audit Notice the pattern you keep repeating — waiting to feel ready, practising at home before going to the studio, preparing before you show up. Ask yourself: what have I always done, and what result has it created? That’s your data.

2. Change the goal Instead of making the goal not falling over, make it learning how to fall. What happens when you stop trying to avoid the thing and start getting curious about it? That shift changes everything — your body relaxes, you loosen up, and you actually move better.

3. Worst case, best case visualisation Sit with the worst case scenario you’re currently imagining. Really feel into it — what happens, what do you do, how do you meet it? Notice whether the fear passes when you actually walk through it. Then, when you’ve really been with the worst: what might the best be? And let the best be superficial if it wants to. Noble and superficial motivations are both allowed.

4. Pack a chocolate bar When you’ve walked through the worst case, make a practical plan for it. What do you actually need to meet that scenario with courage and a bit of cheer? Pack accordingly. This is sovereignty in action — deciding in advance, not panicking in the moment.

You can find ✨ The Life Atelier, my 1:1 coaching programme, here (20% off in May). You can find me on Instagram here. You can find Joy Studio, my community for women in business, here.

In this episode we talk about:

00:00 — the gas incident and why the windows were open

01:00 — the topic I wish someone had told me sooner

02:30 — growing up “not sporty” — and how that story was completely wrong

04:00 — forging fake orthodontist notes to drive to Snowdonia (yes, really)

05:30 — deciding to love my body exactly as it was, and what that unlocked

06:30 — the yoga studio moment: why preparing at home was keeping me stuck

07:30 — the fear of falling — headstands, handstands, and breaking my neck

09:00 — changing the goal: from not falling to learning how to fall

09:30 — the Foix mountain, seven days, and realising I wasn’t scared of heights

10:00 — the tool: visualising your worst case scenario with curiosity

11:00 — becoming an English teacher at 27 and learning to model the fall

12:15 — “slipping into cold water” — what limitless actually feels like

13:00 — this works for business, love, your body — wherever you’re holding back

14:00 — when you make falling the goal, you relax. here’s what happened.

15:00 — the graceful forward roll that taught me everything

15:30 — falling down the mountain (and learning I just... stop)

16:30 — how to actually walk through a worst case scenario

18:00 — the secret I wasn’t proud of: going straight up gives you an amazing ass

19:00 — you get to have superficial motivations AND noble ones

19:30 — the more willing you are to fall, the less you do — and what that means

20:00 — next week: emotions, how to be with them, and what’s on the other side

Resources

✦ Book a complimentary Life Design Session → emmalavelle.co

✦ The Life Atelier — 3, 5 & 10 month containers, prices increase in June

✦ Start later in the year and still keep current pricing — just message me

Reflection prompts from this episode

What story have you been telling yourself about who you are — and what does the evidence of your life actually show?

What would change if the goal wasn’t to avoid falling, but to learn how to fall?

And what is the worst case you keep imagining — have you ever actually sat with it, walked through it, felt it to the end? What’s there when you do?

Joy Ambition is your weekly voice note with me, Emma Lavelle — life design and time expansion coach, and founder of The Life Atelier. New episodes every Friday.

I’m recording this one from Maison Emrita — my new home in Toulouse, the ‘impossible’ (hah!) forest witch cottage with a garden bang in the city.

And I admit, I’ve been procrastinating a little, I didn’t realise how much emotion I was holding about sharing the story behind it, what it took to go for it then be in it with the pattern of the light through the leaves on my desk like sunlight dancing on the river next to me, and the life design and time expansion tools I used along the way.

So this is a voice note about wanting things fully, asking for what you need, and learning to trust yourself enough to fall, plus tools & exercises you can actually use yourself right now, today.

🛠 Tools & Exercises from This Episode

1. The Self-Identity Audit Think about the thing that keeps appearing in the corners of your mind — the one you journal about, notice when others have it, but quietly believe isn’t for you.

Ask yourself:

• What is it about the way I see myself that makes me think this isn’t for me?

• What is it about the people who do have it that makes it feel completely fine for them?

Apply this to money, love, lifestyle, business, health. Make a few notes. That’s the area to work on.

2. Strategic Daydreaming Before you put any limits on what you’re looking for — don’t.

Do your first search, your first exploration, your first vision with no budget cap, no practical filter, no “but realistically.” Just ask: what do I actually want? Let yourself gather data on how it feels. Build your capacity to want.

3. Strategic Cheekiness Once you know what you want, ask for it anyway — even if it feels like a stretch. Be transparent. Show up as yourself. Be honest at every step and then let the situation, the person, the opportunity decide. Your job is just to ask.

4. Deciding Ahead of Time Set your limits and boundaries with yourself before you’re in the room, before you’re in the negotiation, before you’re in the feeling. Decide in advance what you will and won’t accept. It makes it infinitely easier to hold your space when you’re actually in it.

5. The Self-Treatment Check Ask yourself honestly: how do I treat myself when things don’t go to plan?

This is not a small question. The way you treat yourself after things fall apart directly marks out the distance of your race. You cannot run beyond it — your inner critic will snap the bungee cord and pull you back every time, until you feel safe enough to fall and trust yourself to get back up.

6. Practising Being in Trust When you’re waiting — for the answer, the outcome, the decision — practise the thought: if it’s meant for me, it will be easy. If this is mine, it will flow.

Notice what in your life has felt like struggle and resistance versus what has felt like slipping into cold water — heightened, present, alive, but not forced. That contrast is data.

7. Integration Before Action When you arrive somewhere new — a home, a chapter, a decision, a version of yourself — resist the urge to fill it immediately. Be still. Learn the rhythm. Feel what the next right thing is each day, rather than doing everything at once.

You can find ✨The Life Atelier my 1:1 coaching programme here (20% off in May). You can find me on Instagram here. You can find Joy Studio my community for women in business — here.

In this episode we talk about:

00:00 — why I almost didn’t record this episode

01:00 — starting before you feel ready

02:00 — what life design and time expansion coaching actually means

03:30 — the school holiday feeling and why I want it for everyone

05:15 — introducing The Life Atelier and the three containers

06:45 — the slow vinyasa lesson: why going slow builds more muscle than going fast

08:00 — the internet cutting out — and the three-day decision that changed everything

09:45 — why the 3-month Focused container might be right for you (and when it’s not)

10:55 — pricing, the June increase, and how to lock in current rates

12:00 — always wanting a home with nature — and the conflict between city and wild

13:45 — two houses isn’t a luxury: rewriting your self-identity story

16:00 — strategic daydreaming: searching with no limits first

17:30 — the first viewing, the missed train, and the hobbit-sized bedroom

21:00 — being strategically cheeky: asking for what you want anyway

23:00 — holding your space in the room and deciding your limits ahead of time

24:30 — the hermit crab moment: what it feels like to be fully exposed and vulnerable

26:30 — “if this one exists, there must be another one” — building trust in rejection

27:30 — how you treat yourself after things don’t go to plan is the real limit on your ambition

29:00 — the call from my landlord (and the quiet street where I cried)

30:45 — when things are aligned, they flow — introducing the Joy Code

32:00 — integration: learning the rhythm of a new space before filling it

34:30 — co-regulation and why my nervous system purring changes yours too

35:30 — what your own dreams are asking you to make space for

36:00 — the complimentary Life Design Session: what it is and how to book

Resources:

✦ Book a complimentary Life Design Session → emmalavelle.co

✦ The Life Atelier — 3, 5 & 10 month containers, 20% off until 31 May

✦ Prices increase significantly on 1 June — you can lock in current rates and start later in the year

Reflection prompts from this episode:

What is it that keeps appearing in the corners of your mind — in your journal, in what you notice other people have?

What is it about the way you see yourself that makes you think it isn’t for you?

And how do you treat yourself when things don’t go to plan? That answer tells you exactly how much joy and ambition you can hold right now.

Joy Ambition is your weekly voice note with me, Emma Lavelle — life design and time expansion coach, and founder of The Life Atelier. New episodes every week.

What actually changes when you trust yourself?

I want you to rest in that question for a moment. Not rush to answer it. Just imagine it.

In this episode:

• The wolf and the domesticated dog — and what Rita sleeping next to me right now has to do with your potential

• The cheetah who doesn’t know how fast she can run — Glennon Doyle’s Untamed and what it means to have been living in an invisible cage

• The wet feet story — what happened in the Gorge in Aveyron when I finally stopped trying to keep my trainers dry and just walked

• What I saw on the mountain when I stopped focusing on the drop and let myself soften — the branches that were there all along

• Your skin improves. You sleep better. Your relationships change. Your energy changes. These are real, physical things that shift when self-trust becomes the default.

• The difference between the objective being don’t fall ever versus how will I get back up again — and why that shift changes everything

• What it actually feels like when self-trust becomes your default state — and why it’s a practice, not a personality trait you either have or don’t

What changes when you trust yourself is you stop waiting, wishing, hoping — and you start choosing your own path with the awareness that you are choosing it.

That’s the state. That’s what we’re building toward.

This month’s invitation ★

If you have someone in your life who you know is ready for this work — I would love for you to share one of these episodes with them. Introduce them to a world where self-trust is the default.

And if you’re reading this thinking I want this to be my way of life — reach out. You don’t have to be ready. You just have to know you want it. We’ll have a conversation from there. emmalavelle.co

Rita sighed at the beginning of this one. She gets it.

You’ve been told to trust your gut. To listen to your instinct. But here’s the thing — anxiety and intuition can feel almost identical. And this episode is about learning to tell them apart.

In this episode:

• Why anxiety and intuition feel so similar — and why that’s not a personal failing

• The lights on the dashboard — the specific words and phrases that tell me I’ve gone into fight or flight before I’ve even noticed

• “I must be missing something” — my personal red light, and what it taught me about my own patterns

• Why we don’t want to skip the adversity — just the unnecessary suffering

• Journaling as a tool for pattern recognition — how to look back without judgment and forward with curiosity

• The five women I trust implicitly — and how community is one of my most important self-trust tools

• What I say to my partner when I suspect I’m triggered — and why having that practice in place means we don’t create harm

• The urgency test — anxiety says it has to happen today. Knowing is expansive. It can wait until tomorrow.

• The mountain walks, the fear of heights melting, and the pull towards wild swimming that I know is coming — that’s intuition. Not urgent. Just certain.

• The gap between knowing and acting — from every relationship I’ve ever ended, I can pinpoint the exact moment I knew. The gap just got shorter each time.

Three questions to sit with this week:

1. How does anxiety feel in your body versus intuition?

2. How does urgency feel versus trust?

3. What practice would you like to start building to tell them apart — and what’s one small thing you could start this week?

The quiet voice doesn’t get louder. You get quieter.

___________________________________________________

I’d love to hear from you — reply here, or come find me on Instagram @emmalavelle.co

If what came up is “I want support with this” — I have spaces open to start in May. Three months, five months, or ten — depending on where you are and what you’re ready for. Book a conversation with me here: emmalavelle.co

Sit down for this one.

If no one else had an opinion — not your partner, your parents, your business coach, your friends, the guy in the coffee shop, no one on Instagram — what would you do?

In this episode:

• Why your opinion is the only consistent thing — even when your brain argues otherwise

• Where the outsourcing habit comes from — and why it made complete sense when it started

• Daisy the dog in Normandy — and what she taught me about how we learn to call painful things love

• What it actually looks like when you’re outsourcing your knowing (buying another course, anyone?)

• The cost — what compounds every time you send yourself the message “I don’t trust myself”

• The somatic practice Anna taught us: how to find gravity and come back to yourself

• Queen seeking guidance vs queen asking what to do — and why that distinction changes everything

• How to practice self-trust in the tiniest moments — before you even get to the big decisions

You can still work with coaches. You can still talk to people. Just go to yourself first.

That’s the whole practice.

This week’s question: Where are you currently outsourcing a decision that you already know the answer to?

Come tell me on Instagram @emmalavelle.co or hit reply — I’d love to hear where you are.

If this has been landing and you’d like support working through it one to one — I have spaces opening in May.

Just reply to this email and let me know where you are in life. I’d love to connect. or schedule a conversation here: emmalavelle.co

Hello amazing humans,

It’s Friday, and I nearly turned this into a Substack letter.

But there’s an immediacy to a voice note that writing doesn’t have. No spell check for your own voice. No slowness. Just a thought, and then send (with full Emma struggling to say immediacy in the middle).

So I recorded it instead.

Here’s what happened this morning before I even sat down to work:

• Coffee with a friend at the market behind my house.

• A balcony conversation with a woman from Spanish Catalonia wondering if she should move here with her dog.

• A man who isn’t homeless — as he pointed out — living in his van with two puppies trembling in the cold, who ended up being one of the most interesting people I’ve spoken to in a while.

• A podcast recording with Audrey about our retreat.

• Two conversations with the organic vegetable sellers.

There was also a parking fine that appeared where I made the sign of the cross in gratitude that it’s a French 30€ not a British 80GBP 😆

It was 1pm. And I realised — that rather than me just being about to get to work, had already been a pretty bloody productive morning!

Which made me think about something I explore a lot with my one-to-one clients: whose standards are you using to measure your day? And what would change if you decided for yourself?

I recorded a short voice note about it. It’s in your ears in about two minutes.

And — my calendar is open. I have one Saturday a month where I take calls, and a few spaces to talk this week. If you’re curious about one-to-one work, or you just want to reply and tell me where you are right now — especially if you don’t think support is possible — that’s actually my favourite place to start.

With love from the sunny balcony in Foix, Emma ✨

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This month is about self-trust. And I want to start here — not with a tool or a framework, but with the thing I keep coming back to: the difference between knowing and trusting.

Because most of us already know. We’ve always known. The gap isn’t clarity. It’s the safety to act on what we know.

In this episode:

• The domestic dog in the forest vs the wolf — and what that tells us about what self-trust actually feels like from the inside

• What I found when I went back through my journals — the same wants showing up across years, cities, and seasons

• Why we don’t act on what we know (hint: it’s not because we don’t know)

• A body-based practice you can do right now to reconnect with what knowing actually feels like

• The trust gap — what it is, why it exists, and how to start closing it one baby step at a time

• What I’m currently building self-trust around — and why I’m doing it one morning walk at a time

The wolf doesn’t check Google Maps. She senses, moves, recalibrates.

That’s the practice.

Where do you currently have a trust gap — and what would change if you had the self-trust to move toward what you already know you want?

I’d love to hear from you — reply here, or come find me on Instagram @emmalavelle.co

If what came up is “I want support with this” — I have spaces open to start in May. Three months, five months, or ten — depending on where you are and what you’re ready for. Book a conversation with me here: emmalavelle.co

Hello Gang!

I’m sharing the same letter today on Joy Ambition and at Joy Studio because it felt relevant for everyone.

An invitation to pause and consider spring cleaning your life today, and to make it EASY, (there’s also the recipe for delicious four ingredient cookies I made last night at the end, you’re welcome!)

It’s something I started myself a few months ago, and only realised what I’d been doing on my walk this morning up to the cross at Foix, sitting at the top to look over the valley and to just be with myself, the clocks changed this morning, the church was packed with a congregation holding bunches of something green and I realised it must be Palm Sunday and gave my inner child a little high five that adult Emma gets to climb a mountain to celebrate love and life instead of having to listen to a very old Irish priest talk about …. I still don’t know… which was life 30 years ago, we are winning today!

Today’s voice note covers the 10 steps:

1. Checking the terrain - where are you, who are you today? Think tipping the clothes out on the bed to see what’s actually there.

2. Your Joy Code - think values, are yours the same or ready to update?

3. Safety. What’s your relationship with it, do you know how to create it?

4. Built in pauses. Your rituals, retreats, space to listen to your body, mind and soul.

5. Digital wellbeing and AI - what do you need to clear out, update for the life you want?

6. Home - is it your sanctuary? What can you do to align today?

7. Emotional hygiene and processing. Has your body been able to catch up to your mind in the last few months?

8. Your blank page. Clean out the previous expectations, like the white dress you thought would make you feel like a floating bohemian queen but actually feels more like you’re pretending to be a ghost at best and a reluctant KKK extra at worst. Move it. Let the space for what WILL feel fabulous just be there for a minute.

9. Engage experimentation mode. Small steps, led by curiosity and play. Movement from stagnation.

10. Sleep. Like switching out your heavy winter knits for light fabrics you can move in, revisit just how much sleep and space your brain to do its thing!

PARIS WORKSHOP, SOUTH WEST FRANCE RETREAT, JOY STUDIO, SINGING BOWLS & 1:1 COACHING

I’ll share my list of things that have been supporting me/bringing joy this month below but first some links for ways to support the life you are building below:

• 1:1 Coaching with me in The Life Atelier

• I’m co-hosting a workshop in Paris with amazing Dom of Well In France, you can sign up for her email list here and I’ll share the link to join shortly too!

• Joy Studio - our community for women to make money doing what they love - right now your first 2 weeks are gifted!

• BLOOM - our September retreat, doors open this week, hit reply if you want the details!

This Week

• Monday co-working in Joy Studio 12:00 -13:15 CET

• Monday breathwork in Joy Studio 17:00-17:20 CET

• Wednesday - French Conversation TOULOUSE 11:00-12:00 CET

• Wednesday open coaching (not recorded, show up live ideally!) with me in Joy Studio 13:00 CET

Also - Singing Bowl sessions with Audrey, one of the most magical additions to my toolbox for processing emotions and creating balance, and if you’re in Toulouse reach out and I’ll share her details with you, I don’t understand how they work but they do 😆

Have an amazing Sunday!

Emma ✨

Emma’s March List :

• This article:

  Atelier Nicolette

  The Magic Act of Toulouse, France

  ➸ This email may be truncated in your inbox. To ensure you’re reading the entire post, head over to a web browser or the Substack app. If you enjoy the post, please like, comment, or share with a friend…

  Read more

  2 months ago · 8 likes · 3 comments

  Shared by made me teary eyed about how much I love Toulouse, could be fun to look for your own version for your home!

• THIS home - wow. So many ideas!

• COOKIES! 3 Ingredient Banana Oatmeal Cookies

• Reve where we host our BLOOM retreat has some magical updates that should be ready for September!

• Links to the AI videos/Homing Podcast mentioned in the episode below!

What actually happens when you ask for what you want? Not the rehearsed version, not the carefully managed version — the real ask, from a place of genuine okayness with whatever comes back.

In this episode:

• The Bumble message that started everything — and why being okay with the no changed everything

• Why asking for what you want has nothing to do with certainty and everything to do with safety

• The 12-4-3-5 lifestyle — and the Monday morning walk in the mountains that started it

• What happened the first time Emma said out loud that she wanted a partner and children

• Javi and Blanca — the couple in Madrid who proved you really can have all of it

• Why the no moves you closer and the not asking costs you something you don’t get back

The want snap. The borrowed fears. The fox fur. And now — the ask itself.

This is what March has been about.

If you already knew the answer was yes — what would you ask for?

If what came up is “I want support with this” — I have two spaces left to start in April. Three months, five months, or ten — depending on where you are and what you’re ready for. Book a conversation with me here.

In this episode:

• Why we carry beliefs long past the season they belong to — and why we stop noticing the weight

• The quiet conviction that cost Emma the most — and what happened when she finally put it down

• Why taking up space gets to look exactly like you — intimate, quiet, loud, however you’re designed

• The small flashpoints from childhood where we learned to stop trusting ourselves

• The woman in the Toulouse café, the cappuccino that went cold, and why Emma didn’t get quieter

There will be consequences to being yourself. There will always be someone whose cappuccino goes cold. But that cost is nothing compared to the energy you lose every day making yourself easier to digest.

Notice where you’re contracting today. Just one place. That’s enough.

If what came up is “I want support with this” — I have two spaces open to start in April. One-to-one, bespoke, deeply held. Book a conversation with me here.

In this episode:

• Why “when things are calmer” is your brain keeping you exactly where you are

• The sophisticated self-protection behind never quite starting

• What it costs you to keep waiting for external permission

• The difference between being ready and deciding you’re ready

• A simple practice for returning borrowed fears to the people they belong to

The runner is the person running. Not the person who’s done enough kilometres.

I decide when I’m ready. Try saying it out loud. Notice what comes up.

If what came up is “I want support with this” — I have two spaces open to start in April. One-to-one, bespoke, deeply held. No waiting until things are calmer.

Learn More & Book a conversation with me here ✨

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Have you ever started to say what you want and pulled yourself back before the sentence was even finished?

“I want to be rich — but not wealthy. That doesn’t seem fair.” “I want to take up space — but I’m not ready yet.” “I want to go for that job — but I’ll do another certificate first.”

This is the art of wanting less than you’re allowed. And most of us have perfected it without even realising.

In this episode I’m exploring the moment the bungee snaps you back — why it happens, where it comes from, and what it means to start building capacity to want more than you’ve decided you’re allowed.

I share a story about a library that nobody used, what Gordon Ramsay’s son said that I’ve never forgotten, and my own quiet belief that I could have love or success — but never both.

This one is an invitation to notice your edge. You don’t have to do anything with it yet. Just let yourself see it.

I have two spaces open this month for The Life Atelier — my 1:1 coaching journey. If this episode landed somewhere real for you, reply to this email or visit emmalavelle.co to find out more.

Posted from a sun-drenched bedroom in Foix, in the Pyrenees — this one might make you say “oh, fuck off, Emma.” That’s okay. Stay with me.

You are your scariest bully.

And here’s why that’s actually the best news you’ve received all week.

When we fear criticism from others, what we’re really afraid of is that we’ll believe it — and then turn it on ourselves. Our brain doesn’t know the attacking voice is coming from inside the house. It just feels under threat. And when we’re under threat, we close down. We stop learning. We stop adapting. We stop going after the thing.

So if you’ve been wondering why it feels so hard to start the business, have the conversation, ask for the relationship you want, put yourself out there — it might not be fear of them. It might be fear of what you’ll do to yourself if it doesn’t go perfectly.

I also share in this episode:

• The kinked hosepipe metaphor (your creativity and spontaneous ideas are in there — they just need the kink released)

• The kid in the dinosaur costume test — a brilliantly useful way to know whether criticism is worth sitting with or completely irrelevant

• Why the things you most admire in other people are also already in you

• How I asked for the relationship I wanted, got a no, and why it was one of the most liberating moments of my life

• What “befriending the bully” actually looks like in a real moment of fear (hint: it involves sitting on a kitchen floor with a dog)

The answer to “how long will this take?” is: as long as you resist self-compassion.

Which means the moment you choose it, things can shift. Fast.

🧭 Want to use these tools in real time?

I’m running a free live workshop this Friday — 14 spaces left (one of you’s already grabbed yours, hello 👋).

I’ll be teaching the SovReina Compass — my most up-to-date method for using self-compassion as a practical navigation system, not just a nice idea.

This is intimate by design.

Stop Building Someone Else’s Dream.

From Should to Want: A Workshop on Building the Life You Actually Desire with 1:1 Coaching Sessions

SAVE YOUR SPOT

💬 Working with me 1:1

I only ever take on two new clients per month,

— so I can show up fully: WhatsApp voice notes, deep dives, real partnership.

If that’s calling to you, I’ll be sharing more about it on the Friday call or hit reply with the word SUNSHINE and we can schedule a conversation before!

See you there. And if it isn’t sunny where you are — it’s coming. I promise. 🌞

It’s called Creating a Song With the Audience, and it features a young musician named Jacob, standing in front of an orchestra. He starts simply: strings play something small. Another section joins. Then another. And then — he turns to the audience.

That’s the moment everything changes.

One comment in the video captured it perfectly: “It wasn’t emotional until the audience was participating. Collective human experience in aggregate magic.”

I had goosebumps just writing about it. I have them now.

In this episode, I’m breaking down exactly what happens in that video — and why it’s a perfect map for what coaching looks and feels like.

What you’ll hear:

The four things that make that kind of magic possible — and how they mirror the coaching journey: holding space so there’s safety to play, the trust and vulnerability that follows, the baby steps of collaboration (and the very real risk of rejection), and then the moment when the energy cascades and suddenly everything shifts.

I also share a very real story from my week — a day that involved two car journeys, a metro, two cancelled trains, a taxi, a broken-down car, two buses, and a very kind French bus driver who made it all a little more human.

Because that’s what happens when you do the work: you show up pre-topped up. Life still happens, but you meet it differently.

The big idea:

We’re not coaching you to strive for something you’re not. We’re coaching you back to you — comfortable in your skin, in every context — and letting what you create from there surprise everyone, including yourself.

If you’re listening to this thinking yes, me, let’s go — reply JOY and we’ll organise a conversation about coaching together. ✨

P.S. Wednesday is officially DW Day — Do Whatever the F**k I Like Day. Protect your energy accordingly!

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